New Tony Hair Arriving Daily!
Topic: MNF 12/01/2008
| Date | 2008-12-02 |
|---|---|
| By | Richard L. Spikowski |
| Subject | Comb-Overs Suck |
Tony, dude.... c'mon. You are one smart dude. PLEASE - clean up your act on TV. This isn't radio and it's not the newspaper... people can SEE you. That's right, they can actually see those four or five strands you continue to glue to the top of your head.
True story - I started going bald in my 20's and by my 30s I was terrified. Then one fateful day I decided to to just take a #2 clipper to the whole thing. What a relief. You don't have to shave it... just use a #2 (1/8" long) . Takes 10 minutes, looks great, chicks dig it.
If you're wondering if that would really look better.... just think "Rudy Giuliani". Did he look better with his pre-911 comb-over, or now? The answer is o course.... "now". Way better NOW, without the comb-over.
Besides, do you really want to look like a pathetic loser copy paper salesman ? NO. Of course not. You want to look like a high-power sports journalist. $30 for the clippers, 10 minutes... you're in the club, and I don't mean the "hair club".
———
| Date | 2008-12-01 |
|---|---|
| By | Gmen fan |
| Subject | Tony K. |
Just go bald dude, u got every sport fans respect
Poll
What was the best part of your Thanksgiving meal?
Turkey (367)
Stuffing (61)
Mashed Potatoes (6)
Sweet Potatoes (2)
Cranberry Sauce (1)
Apple Pie (1)
Other Dessert (0)
Other (4)
Total votes: 442
Tony Kornheiser - We Are Calling You Out.
This is an intervention, but don't take it the wrong way… We are here to help.
Tony, seriously, give it up already. Your hair… it’s horrendous. It’s worse than horrendous; it’s borderline unbelievable. You aren't fooling anybody. In fact, you are only drawing unnecessary attention to your half-glistening dome, your inevitable baldness, by displaying week after week, the worst comb-over in the history of mankind.
Exhibit A
We all here are human, so we understand what you’re going through. Ours is an imperfect existence… an endless string of decisions that beget new challenges as often as minor victories. Such are the arduous lives we lead, but lead them we must, for the alternative is all the more unsatisfying.
It is indeed human to fear what is different… to fear what is unknown… to fear change. But change is one of life’s only constants, and as such should be embraced for the excitement and opportunity it presents, rather than ignored in the futile hope that yesterday could still be tomorrow.
You see, there comes a time when a man must square up to the harsh realities of life, and kick those realities square in the junk. Tony Kornheiser – your time is now.
With that being said, please, do us all a favor and cut your hair already. We even have a few suggestions for you.











